Reflection

So this blog entry is going to be somewhat of a long one. I have encountered a lot of the past couple of months with church, school family, work and so on that you will be able to read later on. Through some of it I remember thinking that God was not there for me but that is quite the contrary. God was always there for me as I went through these joys and struggles. I have been reading this book called The One True Thing by Howard Baker. It is probably one of the books that have transformed my life. I am definitely in the middle of a life transformation right now and although some of it is painful I know that God has his best interest for me. I am treading on really uncertain ground, which is really very scary for me, and it is sometimes hard to really focus on what God has planned for me. I’ve been learning the value of Jesus in my life and after I actually evaluated that, I was shocked. There are so many things that have come in the way of Him in my life and I’ve done nothing to turn it around.

This past week was one of craziness. Now because of the kids at home or anything like that, but because Jesus made himself known in my life. I have never him like I have in the past week. For all the empty New Year’s resolutions that I have made in the past, this one trumps them all. 2009 has already been a struggle but also a great joy. I am making decisions for myself that I’ve been meaning to make for a long time. I have decided that drinking alcohol has absolutely no worth. It is something that I do not need and God has made that evident in my life. I am drinking the things that are good for my health. And that brings up another thing. I’ve had a new year’s resolution, a couple years in a row, to lose a certain amount of weight. Those went out the window. This year is my year to become healthy. I went to the doctor today and things are good to him, but to me it’s not as good as I want it to be. I am misusing the body that God has given me. I’ve been misusing it for a long time and I need to stop it. Would you treat a really awesome gift that you got from your best friend like crap? No, you wouldn’t, because it means to much to you. That is how I feel I’ve been treating myself. It is time for me to make some choices. Not only choices about my physical health but for my spiritual and emotional health as well.

It says in Philippians 3:7-9 “But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.” God will take care of the “things” for me. I do not have to worry about them. What I do have to worry about is the condition of my heart. Jesus will take me, whatever condition it is in.

There is a song that I cannot stop listening to, Hosanna by Kirk Franklin and God’s Property. Some of the words are:

The angels bow down at the thought of you
The darkness gives way to the light of you
The price that you pay gives us life brand new
Hosanna forever we worship you