Thursday, April 16, 2009

On this beautiful day....

Hey everyone! I don't know what else to start this off with other than, OH MY GOODNESS IT IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY TODAY!!! God is soooooo good. He is amazing. He is the most complex creator to have ever walked this earth. Making something so beautiful, like the sunshine that I've seen and felt today is insane! Looking out of the window, I feel like I should be outside but that is not possible right now. That brings me to what I want to talk about.

I have always felt that the grades I get in school were due to the fact that I don't work hard enough. That has been going on now for the past few years. More like 10 years. I am tired of all of this. I have been in and out of offices at York today, just getting a bunch of stuff figured out.

First, I went to class at 11:30 so that I could get my attendance mark. I need those marks. Those are the easiest marks you can get. Attendance. Then I went to the Faculty of Liberal Arts and Professional Studies. Now, I've been super worried that if I don't pass this NATS course then I won't be able to return to York University next year. This is untrue. I went and spoke with an advisor, Ryan, today and he made everything clear for me. All I have to is file a petition to get the F that I received in my English class first year to be removed from my record. He said that all I had to do was fill out the petition form and get a Course Summary evaluation form filled out by the prof and hand it in. After that has all been processed, it'll be as though that course didn't even exist. That is cleared up now.

I'm here right now sitting in the Learning Disability Program office. I have always wondered whether I have a learning disability. So I am here getting screened. It would definitely explain a lot.

That's all I can really write at the moment. I have a lot on my mind and need to go into my appointment soon.

Thanks for reading!
Alison

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Look at me now

Wow. If I told you guys the whole story of what has happened in my life over the past few weeks, I would take up so much space. I could write a book! Let's see where I get! There are a couple songs I want you to listen to. Maybe that what is going to make this one long! This will probably be another long read! If you get bored, I'm sorry in advance :)

I've had a little trouble reading God's word. I had a routine before but since I've been back at school. That has gone out the window. I thought that since I wasn't reading that God would not speak to me. Boy, was I ever wrong! He did the exact opposite!!! So I liked this guy and I had given the situation to God at the very beginning when I started to have feelings for this person. I had been hurt in the past I didn't want to be in that position again. This time was going to be different for me and I was sure of it. I wanted to make sure that I was doing the right thing by giving everything to God from the get-go. So I started to like this guy and I needed to talk to someone about it. The person I decided to talk to about it first was Layla. She has been amazing in this situation. There is one thing that she said to me that I will never forget. Something I've heard before, but just never listened to. God's timing is absolutely perfect. I know that I've heard it before but I didn't want to believe it. Layla and I were talking for a while about how God has created someone to be what you need, what He desires for you. This guy started seeing someone and I realized that the work that Jesus had done in my heart was HUGE! I wasn't hurt, upset, crying. Nothing! He (Jesus) had done something in my heart that made me go directly to Him. It's been an amazing journey. I am really enjoying my journeys with God! He has been so good to me.

Psalm 147:1

1 Praise the LORD.
How good it is to sing praises to our God,
how pleasant and fitting to praise him!

This verse came to mind when I thought of all things that I've been through. We should praise Him always, even when life seems to suck really bad :)

Look At Me Now - Kirk Franklin
Persecuted, criticized, been denied and abandoned
Pushed away, given away, some days I couldn’t imagine
Getting harder, getting colder, was hard for me to see
Tired of runnin’, tired of hurtin’, even got tired of me
Tired of cryin’, tired of tryin’ to forget my mistakes
Tired of bein’ in this storm, how much more can I take
Many nights in my life, tell me why
I shed more tears, my eyes would allow
And after all that

Look at me now!
I’m stronger this time around!
Not because I was so good, but somehow
You looked past where I was
And you knew I’d come through cause You loved me
Look at me know!
So many didn’t make it through
That’s why this heart belongs to only You!
How can I complain ‘bout the pain I went through
Cause it grew me
Look at me now!

Had no hope, had no future, even too hard to dream
No one told me, “boy, you can be whatever you want to be”
Then You saved me and You gave me reason to breathe again
Not perfect, ya’ll, but I’m gon’ run ‘til I make it to the end
(It ain’t easy when your life’s filled with wounds that won’t heal)
And you fight through the lies trying to find what’s for real
Everyone wants the prize but they can’t stand the pain
The strength I needed it came that night I cried out Your name
To my people in the struggle, all my soldiers and believers
To my survivors of Rita, Katrina and even FEMA
(All things are working together for our good)

Look at me now!
I’m stronger this time around!
Not because I was so good, but somehow
You looked past where I was
And you knew I’d come through cause You loved me
Look at me know!
So many didn’t make it through
That’s why this heart belongs to only You!
How can I complain ‘bout the pain I went through
Cause it grew me
Look at me now!

Yes, I’ve seen some hard times
Some bad choices that I’ve made fell back on me
But now it’s time to move on, move on
Can’t let my past hold down my destiny
And even though I don’t always know
Why you allow the night to last so long
But when I see the sunlight
It was only to make me strong

I’m better now! I’m closer now!
I’m thankful now! I’m happy now!
Look at me! Look at me!
I’m stronger now! I’m patient now!
I’m grateful now! I’ll praise you now!
Look at me! Look at me!

Brighter Day - Kirk Franklin
When i close my eyes and think of you
And reminisce on all the things you do
I can't imagine my life without you
It's like paradise, now i
Know that it's real (um)
It's a mystery
For someone to give their life just for me
What you did on calvary
Makes me wanna love you more

[chorus]
I never knew
I could be so happy
I never knew
I'd be so secure
Because of your love
Life has brand new meaning
It's gonna be a brighter day, brighter day

Never thought that i would smile again
I never thought the dark clouds would end
Never thought that i could have a friend
That would keep me never leave me alone
Jesus you're my everything
The only one that makes my heart sing (heart sing)
Now i know what real love means
It's everlasting, lasting

[chrous]

Nothing can compare
To the joy you bring
An everlasting love affair
Jesus my life would never be the same
I found someone who truly cares

[chorus]

Its goin to be a brighter day,brighter day,brigther day
Brighter day, brighter day, brighter day, brighter day
Brighter day, brighter day
Just say

[chorus]